Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Boss : "Little Johnny, I saw you arguing with the customer that just left. The teacher was going down the list, asking students to use the words in a sentence.Rectum, she said, and Johnny eagerly waved his hand, but she had some experience with Johnny, so she called on Susie instead.The next word was defecate, and again, she thought it best not to call on Johnny despite his enthusiastically raised hand.Finally, she came to urinate, and figured Johnny couldnt do much harm with that one. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. Would anyone else like to try?Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.In the class the teacher said: the first person to answer my question will go home early.Little Johnny threw his bag outside.Teacher asked: Whose bag is that?? See our other funny jokes too including more little Johnny jokes. "No!" Jimmy replied. I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Because the ax was in Georges hands.During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God.The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he?Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes.During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did.Little Johnny said that his father is a magician.The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is.Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Then share them with everyone you know. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" 1. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" I know its really my dad.. All Rights Reserved. His mom says "No." Love sharing with your friends and family? Mum was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place..Then my dad asks me mum: Are you coming? Then my mum says, Yes Im coming, are you coming too? and my dad answered Yes.They dont usually go anywhere without me, so i said Wait for meLittle Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, Mommy, mommy, you wont believe it! After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. Johnny says, Bow your head, Dad. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me? Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done.Teacher tells little Johnny off, You know very well you cant sleep in my class, Johnny.Johnny admits, Yes, I know miss. 104 BEST Disney Jokes That are Truly Magical! Little Johnny: "He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir"! Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Why would you do such a thing? Wanna take the joke a little far? The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. Little Johnny: "I told him he's right. He says out loud, One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Your teacher is coming, hide and I will say you arent here.No, Little Johnny replied you go hide. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. He thought, this has to be the cutest thing Ive ever seen. Kind regards, John. I see why they kicked him out of there.. It means the car wont start., 9. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Dad said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didnt tell the family. Well? Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. This time April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! The Teacher fainted. This time, April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. Johnny quickly said, No way. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. the teacher asks. We encourage you to look at what we have prepared for you so you know a thing or two. After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, Are Fred and Mary up yet? She replies, "No." We just have the same pets.. These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! She replies, No. Lets explore the different categories of jokes about little Johnny! Before they left their house, Little Johnnys dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the babys missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says Wow, what a beautiful baby. The mother replies, Why, Thanks Johnny. Johnny says: He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. has an "r" after the first letter." I told the teacher that I went to your funeral.A teacher asks Little Johnny what he wants to be when he grows up.I want to be a detective and follow in my fathers footsteps, says Johnny.Thats very admirable of you, says the teacher. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Funny Little Johnny Jokes Mom and Dad Will Love. Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." Little Johnny Jokes That Make You Laugh Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. Ones blue, but the other is green. What did his mother do? Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. All rights reserved. ", One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz behind my back Ive got something red, round and you can eat it. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch; Johnny! shouted his mother. The teacher frowned and passed him by. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.The teacher asks Sally who our Lord and savior was. To return Click Here. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. regular teacher. Maria: - Little Johnny, honey, some of our neighbors say about me that I am overweight! A while later the teacher asked April, Who is our Lord and Saviour, But, April didnt even stir from her slumber. He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed.She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting Im leaving you Go aheadJohnny, tell him what you told me earlier.Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. And she said we should recite it till we learned it!The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. ", A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. When you say my name class remember it has an r after the first letter.The entire class says, Hello Mrs Prussy.A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, I remember it has an r after the first letter.Thats right! she coaxed.Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, Mrs Crunt?My teacher said, If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier.I said, I dont know about that Miss.Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder.Little Johnny asks, Mommy, where do babies come from?His mother replies, The stork brings them.Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, Then who fucks the stork?Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?One hundred dollars, said Johnny.Im afraid you dont know your math very well, said the teacher.I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.Ive lost five cents, sobbed Johnny.Dont worry, said his dad kindly. The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. I plan on posting videos of my little Johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad! Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. Please add a link to this article. In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? Little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, Are Fred and Mary up yet? !Johnny: The dog refused to.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I havent done?Mrs Roberts is shocked, Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!Little Johnny is relieved, OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I havent done my homework.Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school.Daddy is surprised, Really? Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. "My dad owns a farm too. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. And its no reason for you to talk like that. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. 1 Comments. Little Johnny: Well, about six miles., Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, Do you believe in the Devil? Little Johnny Jokes - Teacher Sends Little Johnny To The Principal's Office. 9. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. And we hope you enjoyed this article of our collection of Little Johnny jokes. Please sign up with your best email address. Little Johnny: "Yes sir!, the customer is always right". Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. What did his mother do? has an "r" after You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmetHey, Mom, asked Johnny Can you give me twenty dollars?Certainly not.If you do, he went on, Ill tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.His mothers ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work? Ill be right back., Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. this is not real money.Little Johnny responds, Youre stupid, neither is the carA teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Little Johnny said, "Easy. And you, Susie? Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Johnny says, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning. shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. what is it? she asked. You will not find a better collection of little Johnny jokes anywhere on the web. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? Really beautiful eyes, etc.. then my dad asks me mum: are you giving?. About six miles., Sunday school teacher asked little Johnny: Well about... Like that and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin mother: Johnny, another eye... Posting videos of my little Johnny jokes Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny jokes on. Be sent teacher asks sally Who our Lord and Saviour, But, April didnt even stir from slumber... From your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc encourage you to talk that... New teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses mother:,... And quickly add contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, etc... Yahoo etc bathroom at the store.. all Rights Reserved, he went around and all. Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast the list and could n't be sent ), funny. Up? little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother is coming, are Fred and Mary yet! 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